Story of a sith

[kbolt56]

this is a story i came up with as an introduction for a character on another sight wat do you guys think
The training room was bloody. An intense sparing session was going on. The lightsabers were flashing at incredible speed. I was locked in intense combat with another sith. Green sweat was beading down my purple skin. I charge at the other sith with my dual lightsabers pulsing a sickening black. I stab him through his stomach they pulse even more as blood gushes out of his stomach. The Sith Lord presiding over this fight smiled and congratulated me for fine kill. "Thank you master",I say in my deep, gravely voice.

The master says. "You seem distracted today"
"It is nothing."
The Sith Master frowns, "You know better to lie me. ",He said in a soft but menacing voice.
"Its just that... i want to get to the front lines and fight."
"I see said the Sith Lord."
"You know you have to wait. You are one of our best soldiers. We will not risk you in some petty fight for some worthless planet."
"I understand master."I grumble a curse under my breath. The Sith Masters eyes turn narrow. What did you say,boy. He then forces chokes me. "Nothing ",I struggle to say.
"Good,now go to your room you insulent cur."
"Yes master. "I say quickly then rush to my room.

[zuan]

this is good. lol are we all gonna be jedi's now aswell lol!

[kbolt56]

maybe *shifty eyes*

[bloodedge]

Very good - nice new type of view! You're good at the description, very good. I like your style.

One thing I'd say - space out a little more. Press return a little. I can see you do already, but once more sometimes (not all the time - depends on if you change the subject).

Makes it easier to read though.

[saibot]

I like it. Soon I WILL USE THE FORCE

[kbolt56]

atcually my friend edited it i just wrote it.

[metaknight]

General Grievous is awesome. It's true saibot.

[saibot]

Dont lie