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Post by zuan on Jun 20, 2008 15:02:56 GMT -5
This part, I have to admint, was definetly brilliant!
The Quest For Immortality
Prologue
Why does a river flow?
why do birds crow?
why do men die?
why cant they fly?
why do dragons live?
why do men dither?
what is live about?
are we in for a shout
to find immortality.
The Orb of Balance was left in the protection of Thong and Thuris. the 2 strongest and wisest men that people will ever see. whilst the heroes, Warlic,Artix,Zuan,Bioshock,Kbolt,Alex,Ty2toon and Blood left to find the potion of immortality.
Ty2toon had discovered that it was not there personal dragons blood they needed it was the mighty dragon and father to the greatest dragon's he was more powerful than frostice and the guardian dragon put together and had lived since the beginning of lore. His blood could cure anyone and make anyone live for ever.
however the dragon had a master his name was Qax. Qax was a friend of Xan. who helped Xan become a titan volcano in his time of need. he sued to help the dynasty and now is only loyal to himself.
The dynasty also have the knowledge of the immortal dragon and the blood. they plan to use the blood and take the orb of balance to dormant all life.
8 Men Fight, a master and his dragon and a dynasty ready for dominance. the 3 way war that will cause the deaths of many and the blood of the dragon to be used. to save man kind or dominant it?
what you think so far?
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Post by bloodedge on Jun 20, 2008 15:09:53 GMT -5
Wow. Your start is amazing. I like the poem. You're using another style there. It's sort of, your "thing". You're better now than ever before. You're using more breaks.
You mentioned me.
All-in-all, brilliant! Bookmarked.
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Post by zuan on Jun 20, 2008 15:11:14 GMT -5
lol thank you!
i like the poem as in my first story in the prolouge i wrote some infomation however it did not ryme so this time i made it ryme yet it still fits the story i will do the first chapter in 5 minuites so stay online!
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Post by zuan on Jun 20, 2008 15:52:38 GMT -5
Chapter 1- A three way war
The 8 heroes continued there journey only 160 miles away from there land. Warlic and ty2toon were leading. followed by Zuan and Artix, then Blood and Bioshock and behind them was Alex and KBolt. they were all in there Armour all trimmed or made out of Mithril, gold. the rarest Armour in lore. it was light,protective and still with a gold tint.
Meanwhile around 150 miles south was the dynasty. who were marching in a vast army to wards the same destination. there leader was a great man who outlawed the Court in the dynasty's first reign of power and executed the leaders. even though the land had changed his vision was still the same. him being immortal would prove he was the right full king and owner of lore.
15,000 miles away on the cold cliff an old man sat. next to him was his dragon. behind him and his dragon was 1 million other younger dragons.
"when a storm comes....my dragons will be there."
"when my master comes i will be the master!"
"the dynasty is going to die by my dragons, anyone after the blood of my king dragon will die as well!"
the 8 heroes were resting, however Ty2toon was looking at a tree with a carving on. he asked warlic .
"if Melon means open....what does Verlok mean."
"that means open down?"
then they realized they scrambled to there feet but the ground below fell and all 8 men fell. there steeds neighed and ran away leaving the men trapped inside the dome. however it wasn't a dome it was a city. inside was vast tunnels of the old dwarf kingdom. Artix turned and saw a army of dwarfs coming to wards them.
"in the name of thy king thost vy hert?"
"we are here because we fell down your trap."
"yes...yes...yes.. but why come through the forest of the elders."
warlci walked forward
"we came this way to meet with your King. we need information on how to slay Thorghon."
the dwarfs gasped and the front one led them through the mines,past the amazing city and into a chamber covered in gold,silver and jewels. when they entered the king rose from his seat.
"well then who are you and what do you want."
"we are members of the champions court, we are going to kill the dragon Thorghon."
"well then...he ain't no dragon, last time i faced him he was mutating with his owner to make a Hugon. a creature from legend."
"well we need the dragons blood, to save the world when it is time."
"i know your not the only one who came this way, that ruddy dynasty lot, there heading to wards him to. they tole my best weapons and resources. Here take some of my horses. i will send a scout back to your land to ask for re-enforcements.
no way you gonna beat 2 army's with just the 8 of ya is there."
later on the heroes had left and it was the next day, as it was they Day ever closer to the dragon's blood.
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Post by bloodedge on Jun 20, 2008 16:12:55 GMT -5
Woohoo! This is getting good!
One thing...It seems some of the characters give over a little too much. It's okay to take some parts slow. You could have given a little more description of the city, the dwarves, the forest etc.
Still good though!
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Post by zuan on Jun 20, 2008 16:14:37 GMT -5
suppoze but too much description egts boring. i will dot hat when they get to the fianl battle.
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Post by bloodedge on Jun 20, 2008 16:17:35 GMT -5
Yeah, it can do. But you don't have to put LOADS in like I do sometimes. Just say what everything looks like, maybe the sound or smell.
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Post by zuan on Jun 21, 2008 6:37:06 GMT -5
Chapter 2- 8 heroes,2 million dragons and 65 billion men.
The 8 heroes on new horses were traveling through the dark and creepy forest. many of the trees bark was twisting and breaking of the trees. ivy was around the trees constricting them to death. at the front of the party Warlic lit his staff and ty2toon and kbolt did the same. then there was a crunch, Artix' horse had crushed a dead dwarf body into the ground. in its hand was a gem. on the gem was a golden carving with the initials S.W.
"S.W? south west!" said artix
"yes...now be quite."
"orcs are in these forests at night and id rather hope we would get to the dragons by nightfall." said bioshock.
so the 8 men traveled on wards through the night and by mid day had reached the stone whit cliffs. there below them was a army of 65 billion men, in the same red and silver robes and plate. they saw they were marching to wards a green mass. looking closely zuan saw that it was over 1 million dragons.
The man was on his dragon. behind him 2 million dragons, all ready for war there riders equipped with swords and spears and bows.
" i may be old, but i still know how to wild a sword. it's time again i will cut and kill all in My way! Meet the master of dragons and the bane of Men!"
then the dragons took off. they charged straight down into the men. there was a cry from men as arrows hit the beasts.
there commander shouted in a deep booming voice
"realsie the wyverns!"
then on the darker side of the old mountain and behind them were around 1500 wiverns. they picked up warlic,bioshock and blood edge and drooped them down the cliff. they landed at the bottom and as they got up around 100 dynasty men surrounded them.
the dragons and wiverns cut through the air like a knife. they ripped at the sky and bursts of flames and water came from each side. then a dragon fell and crushed many of the men below. they seeing the men on the cliff had begun charging up the hill to wards them. Behind the heroes an army came and zuan mounted his dragon. he spoke to the land and men in front and below in the pasture.
"today we could dIE,today we could live,today is our day,forget what happens,forget who you love,forget who you serve and fight for yourself!"
"by god this dynasty has done no good. we half a million will win. as we have hearts that server the right! now charge!"
then the half million cavalry charged down at the men on the hill. instinctively they drew there pikes and they collided. however Alex's newest inversion was the horse guard. a body plate that made a horse 20% slower but protected from blades.
Zuan,bioshock and aleex rose in the air on there dragons. Zuans was a light white with a golden crimson wings. Bio's was a skeleton dragon and Aleex's was the color of the sky and the land below, the camouflage dragon. they joined the fight and the 3 sided war went all out. Dragons hit wyverns, men slayed me and dragons killed dragons.
Zuan drew his blade and cut wyverns and dragons down alike. now in the air was bloodedge,kbolt and ty2toon. they were all fighting the many beats in the air. On land artix and walric were being pushed back by the dynasty. then there was a loud horn blowing in the distance. its was no man horn,no orc horn,no skeleton Horn but dwarf.
"15 sunders men. kill all th dynasty like they killed our men. though we are small in number and small in size. we have a larger blade!"
the dwarf king and his men came charging down in carts and on feet hitting the Dynasty foot so idlers in a pincer attack. up in the air Zuan met with the King dragon. the dragon breathed hard and combined with his rider. to make a Hugon, he ripped Zuan's dragon in half and zuan and the dragon went crashing to the floor.
TO BE CONTINUED[/glow]
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Post by kbolt56 on Jun 27, 2008 10:09:57 GMT -5
sweet
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Post by metaknight on Jul 7, 2008 20:30:08 GMT -5
Awww, i wasn't mentioned in there.
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